In a Photograph
by Wishi-chan
Summary: Repost. Finding an old photograph in the TARDIS brings back old childhood memories for the Doctor.


Disclaimer: I only own Anath, Siri and this situation. Not Doctor Who. If I did, I would be rich.

I thought, the Doctor totally avoids the subject of his family, apart from a few tiny bits of information, so it's a blank page to work on. And if you look into Doctor Who history, via Wikipedia, you can find out some interesting facts, such as the Master was originally intended to be the Doctor's brother…

This is a new style of writing for me as well, so please tell me if it's good or not.

***

It is easy to look at them sometimes, those long forgotten faces. But other times you cannot look at them at all. It is as thought the memory of them, those four figures, however vague, lives on in that image. It is not, at those times, a one dimensional piece of paper, but a record of life, something to prove that they lived, and talked and breathed and _loved_.

You can almost feel them, if you dust your fingers over them, ever so softly. The texture of robes, the silken hair, and the smooth, pale faces.

Anath's hair is plain, left in a simple bun, but her face is quite lovely, and her eyes are wide sky. Siri, on the other hand, has loose curls around her face, almost in ringlets, and dressing of freckles on her cheeks.

Siri is as dark as the others are fair. Though her skin is white, her hair is dark brown; in contrast with the others blonde. Her face seems serious compared to her sibling, for that is what they are. Siblings. But her eyes betray her; they are so young. She is barely a baby.

Anath, however, appears exactly as she was. There is serenity around her, a calmness that differs from her sister mischievous presence and her two brothers' curiosity and madness. She retained it all her life, in all incarnations.

The girls are sitting in this picture, and the boys stand behind them. One has a particular smile, the other avoiding the camera entirely. His eyes are in horizon search mode, endlessly seeking…something. But something else stirs there. A seed, an inkling, a beginning of madness. His being is infused with it, felt even many years later, when this picture is uncovered. You stare at it, your eyes so different and so sad. They are no longer blue, I don't think, no longer that same shade shared by your siblings, bar one.

However different or similar they were, they were all siblings still, at this point. They began to drift away, as siblings do, but their bonds held them tight. Bonds you thought impossible to break, but break they did, in a most ordinary and unspectacular way. Not at all like them.

"_Where is he? Where's Koschei?" _

"_Gone…He's gone, Theta."_

No warning, and seemingly no consequence either.

They were so very dear to you. So very precious. And yet you later deny that they were ever yours.

"_I thought you were going to say he was, like, your secret brother, or something."_

"_You've been watching too much TV."_

They were so very dear, that you felt left out-in the cold. Koshchei was so clever, and so strange, many people tried to get through to him. Siri was young and sweet, and Anath…Everyone wanted to be near Anath. Then there was him. You. The boy with the particular smile.

"_You were so very lonely."_

You hold it gingerly, as though afraid of damaging it. But it is faded, the colours dulling. The brilliant white robes will fade to grey, soon, and the faces will blend and merge until they are nothing more than a memory.

This relic, of your first, most immediate family, lies there, in full view, and it seems almost blasphemous. The people of that place are gone; the species second to so very few, the favoured children of Time are nearly all dead, but dust in the air, atoms in the darkness.

Leaving it here, letting it out, would be akin to dragging out the carcass of a long dead friend (or enemy). Or leaving an extravagant meal in front of a starving man. Obscene, unnecessary, _cruel. _

It will bring your mind onto other, forbidden things that you have pushed away, for your own health.

You will begin considering visiting Susan, or the probability of Romana having made a good wife, or bumping into one of your past selves, just for the hell of it. Something dangerous like that.

Then you realise that, at some point, the boy in the photograph, that innocent boy, with all his family around him, and a whole heart, has become not just a boy, but you, yourself.

And that boy, along with everything you have come to associate with him, crashes down, and though you do not show it, inside you are in turmoil. Memories fall upon you like waves and cast you adrift. They flitter past in shoals and each one destroys you just a little more.

Until you pull yourself back, banish them back to...Where? You don't know, hope you never will.

You glare down at the photo. You pick it up again. You put it in the farthest, most forgotten part of the ship. But you cannot bring yourself to throw it away. You can't admit to yourself that you wish that everything were the way it was. You wish that they were Koschei, Theta, Anath and Siri again. But they are trapped in there, that one moment captured in Time and you are trapped out here, in the wide world, under the gaze of the Big Bad Wolf. You are out here and they are gone forever. Apart from in a photograph.

***

"_Theta! Theta, I missed you!"_

"_Did you?" _

"_Yes!"_

"_Siri? Who is it?"_

"_It's Theta!"_

"_Theta!"_

"_Stop it, Anath, you're strangling me!"_

"_Sorry, Sorry!"_

"_So, where's Koschei, Anath?" _

"_I'm here."_

"_Koschei! Did you miss me?"_

"_I guess so, midget."_

"_Hey! What's that supposed to mean."_

"_Don't fight. Please."_

"_Aww, come on Anath, we weren't really fighting."_

"_Besides, if we did fight, I would beat you into a pulp, dear baby brother."_

"…_You don't mean that, do you?"_

"_No, of course not. Come on Anath, as if I would…Did I upset you, Theta? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, Siri…"_

"_S'okay. Course I'm not upset."_

"_Why are you guys being so stupid? Why do you always fight?"_

"_We don't always fight, Siri."_

"_Please don't go off in a huff, Siri."_

"_Father wants to see us."_

"_Why, Anath?" _

"_We're to have a photograph done. Just the four of us."_

_***_

The dream shattered and broke not long after. Or, soon in their, the Time Lords, terms.

Hairline cracks showed through, and it was over.

"_Smile for the camera…"_

You searched for a new planet, a new escape, to get away from the memory and that photograph.

"_We'll be like this forever, won't we?"_

"_Yes, Siri."_

"_Of course." _

"_We will."_

_The words were said so harshly, and so surely, that the others turned to look at him in surprise. He looked back at them evenly._

"_Well, we will, won't we?"_

_Koschei's gaze softened. _

"_Of course we will."_

Forever in a photograph. 

_**Never say forever**_

Please correct me if I have any of the facts wrong. Most of the information about the Doctor's and Master's real names is from Wiki, along with the stuff about Romana and Susan. Also, I know that Theta is only a nickname, but, I thought, why not use it anyway? Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
